We are in the last 5 months of H's case. Up to this point everything has been a big hurry-up and wait. Like getting to the airport 2 hrs before your flight only to find out it's been delayed. But now things are starting to move...lot of conflicting emotions happening lately. I'm excited about the possibility of the parental rights being terminated and we can move fwd with adoption, but I(we) are also very aware of the fact that nothing is decided yet and that we still have to be chosen to be the parents of this child. Sometimes the uncertainty of it all is paralyzing....How many more months/days to we have with him? Should we start saving for his college? What happens if a distant relative shows up and wants to be considered in his permanent placement?
A couple of weeks ago it all really got to me. The count down, info overload, the complete and utter lack of control that we have in this situation...I had to take a few days and just cry about it, all of it. Good thing I have an understanding husband.
April 20th is the big date...we've been told. This is the date the parental rights will be terminated(if all goes as planned). After that we have to wait 90 days from termination until we can file for adoption...seriously? excruciating! That will be the most critical time of the entire case...and the part I'm dreading the most. From what I understand during that time we will be reviewed(again) and any family members or other parties that the parents bring to the caseworkers will also have to be reviewed & considered just like us. That's the sticky part. Now I'm sure you all understand why I had to take a few days to cry about all of this.
With having an official date to mark on the calendar it feels like the count down is on. Good or bad...not sure how I feel about it...guess it depends on what day you catch me on.
We knew going into foster care that this was not going to be easy. We've heard the scary stories and the success stories. We just have to hold on to the fact that God has a plan for this baby's life. Our prayer is that His plan includes us getting to be H's parents. Right now we are cherishing every moment, even the waking up at 4am moments....yes, we're back to waking up at night, but I don't mind. It's those sweet moments that remind me why I wanted to become a foster parent, why I'm so attached to this baby and why I was put here on this Earth.
Karis,
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you posted, you have been on my heart the last week, wondering how you and Kris and Baby H are doing. I know this time is emotional; but as you know Baby H is right where he needs to be and God does have a plan for him. He is SOOOOO lucky that he has had such loving people in his life. Patience is a hard thing; but as we are always taught -- it pays off, so even though you don't know the outcome, savor the moments! I love you both and am praying for you both! You guys are such blessings for Baby H!