Sunday, October 23, 2011
court room play by play
A month over due...but better late than never is kind of a theme for my life. ha! For those of you who couldn't be in the courtroom here is your play-by-play. Enjoy!
It was like a wedding.
The amount of preparation. The nerves. The family and friends. The new clothes. The photographer. The planning.
I was jittery. Past anxious, past excited...just jittery.
We missed our exit due to construction and had to u-turn and find it coming from the other direction. (I think Kris was jittery too) When I get nervous/anxious I tend to fidgit, tap on things, ask questions and apply lip gloss over and over again. When Kris gets nervous he gets quiet and speaks in quick short answers. Yeah, we're a great pair.
I remember wanting to sprint up the steps of the courthouse, burst thru the doors and announce to all the people waiting in line at security "Today is our adoption day!". (very monica-esque for you Friends devotees, except without the whole tripping and falling bit.)
I didn't do it, but I sure wanted to.
Our case was put at the beginning of the docket for the day. And since our group was so big they asked us to wait outside until the judge was ready. After we walked in, they allowed our whole group to stand behind us in front of the judge.
I started crying right as we got up to the table. Of course. (Thank you Maybelline for your waterproof mascara.)
The judge looked at everyone and said, "are you all adopting this child?" and because they are awesome, our group all said "Yes!" I love you guys!
He then followed that up with "this is a good way to start off the day. Adoptions are the only good thing that happens in a courthouse."
Hank was wiggly. He wanted mama, wanted dada, wanted crackers, wanted milk. But overall he did really well for a toddler.
This judge took his time. Looked through the file, asked questions and asked for paperwork. I was just praying that it was all there.
He asked our lawyer questions and asked Hank's workers questions. They all stated that they felt this was the best placement for this child. I finally breathed, for I think the first time in 15 months.
The judge approved the name change and the adoption and said "if this child turns out half as well as another man, Steve Jobs, who was also adopted. Then we will all be in good shape."
And there it was. Done. He's ours. Everyone cheered and cried. And we all hugged.
Everyone asks the same question now. "So are you so relieved it's done?" And at first I didn't know how to explain what I was feeling, so I just said yes. But I realize that relief isn't the right word for it.
We have finally been validated, stamped and approved.
What we have been feeling for this child since day one has finally been recognized and counted as real.
Up to this point we have been a holding place for this child until a more suitable placement was found. All the while we were jumping up and down, waving our arms wildly yelling, "look at us, look at us. I think we could be suitable. My mom thinks I'm suitable. We already love him, could you consider us."
Through this whole process it has just really brought home for me the picture of God's relationship to us. I don't have to be validated before he'll accept me. I don't have to be suitable first.
He accepts me just as I am.
in the middle of my mess.
And I am so grateful.
My prayer is that I will always be that way for my children. I know they will not always be perfect...and neither will I. But I hope that they will always know that even in the middle of their mess, even when I might not love their actions or their words; that they are always my child, they can always come to me with anything, my door will always be open and that I will always love them for the person they are and for the person I know they can be.