soul searching

It goes without saying that we love this baby. The walk across glass, lay down in traffic for this person kind of love. I tried to put up a brave front for a long time and say that we were just doing it for the good of the child...which is true. But almost from the beginning, we became bonded to this child. I say almost b/c it took me about 1 week to admit to myself that I was completely attached. But after that, it was all down hill. For me this transition from young married couple(yes, I still consider ourselves to be young married's)to parents was as natural as breathing. Kris might have a little different version of our transition but he's already asleep tonite. :)
I know some people would worry that they would not love an adopted/foster child as much as they would a biological child. And I guess if you aren't familiar with the concept I can understand.

For me, I grew up with this being a natural part of family lives. We knew many families who were foster parents and even more that had adopted children. I knew from a young age that I wanted to adopt children..more than one. I remember watching those 20/20 specials when they would go into the orphanages in Romania & Russia and show all those kids packed into beds and rooms. I remember telling my mom that I wanted to adopt a child from Romania back then...I think I was 10. In fact when Kris and I were dating, we had the typical discussion of how many kids do you want someday, and so on. I informed him that I was going to adopt and if that wasn't ok with him then maybe we shouldn't continue dating...ha!

I think this is something that God had stamped on my heart from an early age. I'm not sure why...but I do believe all those influences helped me be ok with not having biological children first/or right now/or maybe not at all.

Maybe that's why.

And...or maybe it's because this child at this time needed a good home, and that home needed to be mine. And that's perfectly fine with me.

I feel like I've known about him and loved him forever. And truthfully, I have. I've loved this baby since I was 10. And...I guess I just answered my own why.